Various Artists - My House Weighs

LONDON MAN SPENDS £800 ON SPEAKERS TO HEAR "THE SAME BEAT OVER AND OVER," REPORTS BEST YEAR OF HIS LIFE.

Barry, a 41-year-old accountant, made the discovery of house music in 2019 when a Spotify algorithm made a decision that would forever seal his divorce from productivity.

"It's not the same beat," he said to this reporter, the resigned air of a man explaining the offside rule to a room full of people who don't care. "That one has a slightly different hi-hat."

Barry has spent 800 on speakers, 640 on records that he could have listened to for free on Spotify, and an unspecified figure on a second pair of speakers because the first pair "doesn't handle the low-mids correctly in this room."

Barrys's brother refused to comment on his brother's musical obsession. He has listened to enough hi-hats in his life. He is, by his own estimation, the world's leading involuntary expert on deep house now.

Barry is having his best year ever.

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We have separated our house and techno promos, here's a new house compilation from My House Weighs A Ton.